December 2015 – I was struggling after the spine surgery, not knowing if I would live to see another day. Years later, it was determined I had suffered a medical trauma and damage to major spinal nerves that affect significant functions to use my arms, hands and motor skills. I prayed and asked. “What do I do now? Concerned about my promise to write my book and what will come of my purpose.”
I feel asleep while in enquiry and woke in a dream surrounded by baron land. Walking in the wilderness… it felt like I was the only human being left on the planet. I had no water. Hanging onto life with nothing but the clothes on my back. A person appeared. I couldn’t tell you if it was a man or woman. We were traveling in different directions. In awe, we stopped surprised to see a living person. We gazed at one another for sometime. Then we smiled. I soaked up the kind and warm expression as if I was drinking in life saving water. In slow motion I blinked, and continued on our my way.
When I woke up, my reality had shifted. I asked myself… what does this mean?
My Vision, Life Purpose and Journey
Looking for meaning
It was clear, the most important thing I can do, is doing all that I can and separate my physical body from my spiritual self. The moment I entered into the dream I left my body…which entailed;
Every breath was like squeezing juice out of a dried orange. Lynched by the neck, in and out of nightmares, witnessing chains wrapped around my throat. I saw myself violently ripped out of sleep. Gasping for air, somehow mustering enough breath to screech in pain. Repeated flashbacks woke me out of one sleeping horror into a waking hell.
I went back to the original enquiry that inspired this vision. “Should I live or should I die… have I fulfilled my purpose?”
Lying in bed questioning the future, it was necessary to find myself and connect to the highest realms of reality. Come to terms with the suffering and why I had been given so many creative abilities and disabling setbacks. I ached to understand.
It all came down to the love I felt in the connection…
I had started to believe I had lost my connection to who I was, my purpose and most of all the reason for my existence. The trauma and pain was so severe I had been blinded to the gift of my soul. Ironically, it was through who I was at my darkest moment that led me back to myself.
The person I met in the desert, in my vision was me… my soul. My highest and most beautiful-self. She touched me with the purest love and to remind me… I am not alone. “You will never walk alone,” a significant statement that changed my life the moment Lee died and passed to the other side. A story I will share in my Podcast Deborah’s Aria, Tale of the 3 Towers.
These principles became clear during that week and helped me to work through the most inhumane time of my life:
- Never underestimate the value of a smile filled with compassion and a deep understanding from one who feels pain and truth. If that was all we could share in that moment, then we had what we needed to push on.
- It didn’t matter how small of a gesture. Or how much I had achieved. I have done what I was meant to do. (I was enough and what I did was enough)
- Nothing is as it appears! Despite the struggles, setbacks and misfortune, I don’t know what is to come… walk forward, trust… Walk forward knowing all is taken care of.
In days to come, I remembered the crossroad in my life and the message vividly confirming;
The surprise of good fortune appears when you least expect it and usually appears when you need it the most. Even though you may travel many miles in life solo, the time will come, all will be revealed and fulfilled.
My Vision, Life Purpose and Journey
This is one of the stories and dreams I often referred to as; Transcending Trauma and how I Connect your Mind with Your Soul. Each experience brought me strength to continue. Over time each journey gifted me with many insightful moments flickering light in the darkness.
March 12th 2022
light, love and peace…. Deborah